Halloween’s Over: Now You’re Just a Whore

Halloween is long gone.  Elections and mudslinging are over.  Taylor/Slaylor Swift completely dominated the music industry.  Rape and cannibals are more horrifying than blood-crazed zombies in The Walking Dead.  And all of retail is eager for Christmas while we are only in the first week of November (aka Movember for you anti-shaving peeps).

Now that those critical updates are out of the way… it’s time to get down to business.

How in the world did Lay’s Kettle Cooked Wasabi Ginger beat Cheddar Bacon Mac & Cheese??  Serious injustice.  Am I in an ebola-induced hallucination?  I’d rather eat handfuls of actual Wasabi and ginger and feel like my brain is on fire, melting, and oozing through my nose as I grab my recently purchased Kleenex decorated with holiday snowflakes.  Bye, Felicia.

In other news,  we can all sleep easy knowing that Star Wars Episode VII now has a title: The Force Awakens.  Too many sexual innuendos to consider at the moment,  but feel free to comment your best…

Until next time, continue eating your children’s Halloween candy and just because it’s November does not mean horror movie marathons and cuddle sessions with your bae have to end! LIVE LONG AND PROSPER.

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