Life Coach: Succeeding In Life With Resting Bitch Face

Let’s face it:  sometimes it’s hard to be peppy and optimistic.  Sometimes you just have to be a realist and take life by the balls and make your own way through the day.  There is no better teacher of such a lifestyle than Wednesday Addams.  Don’t be confused; just because she is very much into death and the macabre does not mean she is not a realist at heart.  In fact, it’s because of such interests that she is the perfect realist.  She gave us the quick and dirty on some of life’s best lessons.  Wednesday Addams: Life Coach.  Her motto?  Succeeding in life with resting bitch face.  Her advice?  Let’s see…

Master Negotiator Wednesday was one of the first people to teach us the meaning of “quid pro quo,” an exchange of goods or services, where one transfer is contingent upon the other.  If someone asks you to do something, think of what they can do to help you in return.  Never settle on the first offer.  There’s no reason we can’t trade favors so that everyone wins.. as long as it’s not trading money for sex, because that’s illegal. You Don’t Need A Man To Complete You Finally!  Disney has taught us our entire lives that we need to get married in order to be happy.  Ariel is perfectly okay with changing everything about herself to get a man.  Cinderella latches on to a man as a means of escaping her average life.  And Tinkerbell is jealous of any and every female that dares talking to Peter Pan.  Wednesday, on the other hand, is one of the first to teach us that we can be happy without being in a relationship.  A girl should have interests and hobbies that make her feel complete.  Your happiness should not be contingent upon a man.  Preach, girl! And we know she is not just saying this for shock value as she is the new girl at summer camp.  She is a true practitioner of her own ideology.  When Joel, her up-and-coming potential lover, confronts her about a hypothetical situation in which she would meet a guy who would bow to her every need and shower her with love and affection, Wednesday uses that situation to proudly demonstrate she can not only talk the talk but also walk the walk. Self-Acceptance of Limited Personal Abilities When we are growing up we are told we can do anything and be anybody.  While that is a nice, hopeful statement, it is not altogether true.  Try telling a quadriplegic with no eyes who can’t hear that he will be an Olympic diver.  There are times where knowing our strengths, weaknesses, and limits is an asset.  By doing something we are incapable of, we might be putting someone, or even ourselves, at further risk.  Wednesday’s ability at such a young age to asses her own limited abilities and allow a lifeguard to save a little girl’s life is just one of many times we learned a valuable lesson from her. She Asks The Tough Questions How many times have you been in class or at a meeting and someone asks the dumbest question ever?  Most of the times people ask stupid questions so they can get validation from the leader or teacher that he/she is on the right track. Other times they just want to give off the perception they are smart by asking a question to which they already know the answer.  But sometimes there are actual questions we all want to ask, but everyone is afraid to be the one to do it.  Not Wednesday.  She will straight up ask those tough questions to your face.  In response to a solicitation to purchase Girl Scout cookies… She also began philosophizing on what my entire senior year in high school was about… Take Risks We can’t always play it safe.  We need to take risks in order to challenge ourselves and keep life exciting.  Remaining stagnant is not conducive to the lifestyle to which we should be striving.  You never know what you might learn about yourself or life each and every time you take a risk.  In the end, some of our greatest regrets might be those risks we chose not to take.  Wednesday embraces the mantra, “the greater the risk, the greater the reward.” Call a Bitch Out You can’t live your life letting people run all over you.  Sometimes you have to be real, to the point, and call a bitch out on some bullshit.  Life is too short to spend walking on eggshells around fake people out of fear or respect.  If you can be honest about people to their faces then you are more likely able to be honest with yourself.  Take matters into your own hands and end the deception– Demand truth and honesty! Role Models Are Important Finding someone to look up to is important for both self-awareness and personal growth.  We should all have role models that we are proud of.  While some kids look up to football players (like Michael Vick, Ray Rice, or Aaron Hernandez) and other athletes, Wednesday is keeping it in the family tree.  I think it’s beautiful when we inspire other family members to be better people and representatives of who we are as a group. Always Give 110% We need to make an impression when we say and do things.  There is no better way to do that than to make sure we are always performing at our best.  No.  We should actually always be giving more than our best.  In order to be remembered, we need to make sure we are always giving more than 100% of our efforts.  After all, going the extra mile can sometimes result in unexpected benefits or rewards.  And if you are a slacker you should expect the full wrath of Tyra… Screw What Other People Think As a society, we tend to care what other people think about us more than we should.  Caving in to the expectations of others can result in future psychiatry visits, self-medication, or even long-term depression.  If we care about what people think of us we are forever a slave to others and never living life for ourselves.  Take the phrase, “It’s 5 o’clock somewhere,” for example.  Why do we have to say that before we drink during an “unorthodox time?”  Who cares when we drink alcohol?  I take my poison whenever I want to and do not give a damn what anyone thinks.  Thanks to Wednesday… Be Prepared Most people think the Boy Scouts are the owners of the slogan, “Always Be Prepared.”  That is a false statement.  And before it was sung by Scar in the Lion King, Wednesday Addams was already teaching us this lesson.  A positive side effect of being prepared also puts us in a position to be a total sarcastic, witty bitch when we want to be. Lies My Parents Told Me Santa is real.  The Easter Bunny exists.  The Tooth Fairy will trade you money for your teeth (creepy).  All of these statements are lies our parents told us when we were children.  Most of us were also lied to about where we came from, too.  Maybe we were told a stork delivered us.  Perhaps we thought a giant with a beard flew us to our house on a motorcycle and left us on the doorstep.  One thing is certain: Wednesday Addams would never lie to us. Shake It Off And lastly, Wednesday was teaching us to to shake off the haters long before Taylor Swift released her song in 2014.  Forget all the haters trying to bring you down and change who you are.  Forget about all the people who want you to act a different way.  March to the beat of your own drum.  Make your own choices.  Be your own boss.  And understand that sometimes you just gotta dance it out…

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