Life Coach: Michelle Tanner

Life Coach Michelle Tanner

Can I just begin with the fact that I am disappointed that Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen are not in Fuller House?  On the upside: YES!  FULLER HOUSE!  It is still going to be AMAZING!  I have waited my whole life for this moment and the day is finally here!  I plan to finish the entire season this weekend (I may or may not have started watching at 6:30am…)  No regrets.  No shame.  In honor of Fuller House, I want us to look back on the lessons that young Michelle Tanner taught us.  Her sage wisdom will be sorely missed in the reboot of this iconic TV show.  I know she has her fashion empire to run, but I will mourn her in every episode and pray for her return with every beat of my heart…


Don’t Settle For Second Best
Remember the episode where Michelle confuses New Year’s Eve and her birthday?  She wears a tiara and expects presents at midnight, only to be told that people do not give presents on NYE.  Instead, they kiss someone.  The only person not receiving a kiss was their golden retriever, Comet (also famous for his stellar role in Air Bud).  She did not give in to the pressures of her surroundings.  She taught me that just because you may be in front of the only available warm body or wet tongue that you can still say, “No.”  Let us use this to symbolize all the fuglies that try smoochin’ on us at the clubs.  We, too, can say, “No!”  We never have to settle for the last piece of cake!


Be A Risk Taker
Sometimes in life you just have to put yourself out there, consequences be damned!  It’s true that most of the time rational thinking and sanity trump my desires, but sometimes I just wish I could be unmoved by the lingering consequences that would result in my actions.  There are times when the prize outweighs the potential risk.  Think of the end game.  Set your sights high and take charge!


Always Looks Your Best
In today’s times, everything you do can be documented.  Your photo can be taken and put on Instagram, Snapchat, YouTube, etc.  Once something is on the internet, you probably aren’t ever going to get it to come down (just ask Beyonce how she’s doing with that god awful photo of her after the Super Bowl a few years ago).  Be cognizant of your appearance in a way that you would be proud if at any given moment a picture were taken and uploaded to the interwebz.  Thank you, Michelle.  You have saved my LIFE!


Eat Your Feelings
Life hands us some really shitty moments sometimes.  It is best to set aside all beliefs of health and nutrition when this happens.  Eating your feelings is the best way to handle one of life’s unforeseen shitty moments.  You will love yourself for indulging the sinful temptation of ALLTHEFOOD!  There is no reason to be unhappy AND starving, so just do yourself a favor and splurge a bit.



Stay Fit and Active
Especially after days where you ate your feelings, remember it is important to stay fit and active for your overall health.  I find it easier to exercise when I have the right music on my playlist and when I dress for the part.  Don’t be afraid to give yourself a pep talk in the mirror.  Only you stand in the way of your own physical well-being.  And only you can take that extra step to getting totally shredded for summer.  Pro tip: headbands get you fitter faster.


Make An Entrance
Never underestimate the power of a bold entrance somewhere.  You will be remembered throughout the night by that one defining moment.  Use fireworks, glitter, or a musically-backed entourage to bust on in.  The louder you are the more impact you will make.  Don’t pidgeonhole yourself as the lifeless dud of the party.  Let it be known that YOU. ARE. BOSS.


Ignore The Haters
You will have jealous hoes around you your entire life.  Remember: you are a savage beast and everyone wants what you have.  Just do not let the haters sidetrack you from excelling further and spreading your bombass-ness all over the place.  Hakuna Matata.  Namaste.  Whatever your preferred mantra is, just remember that the haters gonna hate, hate, hate, hate, hate.  But you just gotta stay true to you and SOAR!


Voiced Opinions Lead To Change
If something is bothering you then there is no way it will stop unless you let your thoughts be known.  You have to speak up if you want change to occur.  There is no reason to go through life and accept mediocrity (or in many cases, utter shit).  Be the voice of the people.  Chances are that if something is bothering you then it is also bothering someone else.  Speak up.  Make a sign.  Use your body.  Just get your message across!  If it weren’t for Michelle’s candor and honesty, I may not know how to act towards the urchins of MARTA, Atlanta’s pitiful attempt at heavy rail transportation.


Politeness Still Matters
We do not win every argument, battle, or situation we face in life.  It would not be fair if we never lost nor would we appreciate our victories so much if we did.  But you should always try not to be a sore loser and remain polite.  Even though her body language is almost more childish than Cam Newton after he got dominated and embarrassed at the Super Bowl (Go Broncos!), her words are still there.  She knows there will be more opportunities for victory or success.  She handles it the best way that any 5 year old can (side note: Cam Newton is a 26 year old adult).


Stand Firm In Your Convictions
We have heard most of our lives that we should trust our instincts, stand firm in our convictions, and not to roll over and take it.  Michelle. TANNER.  What a spokesperson for such a message!  She is the epitome of standing firm in your convictions.  No one is going to pull one over on her.  No one is going to make her betray her instincts and beliefs to do what is wrong.  She is the original #Bossbabe.


Encourage Others
Life can be hard.  And it is important to understand that you are not the only one who suffers problematic times.  Everyone is fighting battles of which you know nothing about, not that you need to.  But you do need to be aware of that and be able to encourage others through your actions and inspire greatness.  We should always be positively challenging others to be better and inspiring happiness.  Take a page out of Michelle’s book and show your support to a friend or stranger.  Let them know they is kind, they is smart, and they is important.


Call A Spade A Spade
Life is too short to drown in all the lies people tell us.  No where does it state that you have to believe people when they lie or accept those lies.  CALL A BITCH OUT!  Let them know you see right through their hogwash and demand they treat you with enough respect to tell you the truth.  You just have to close your mouth, tilt your head, look at them and say:

OhPlease.gif FullHouse_Lie.gif

Responsibility Still Matters
Unfortunately, life cannot be fun and games all the time.  There will come a day where you have to be the voice of reason, the Jiminy Cricket to your circle of Pinocchios (this is especially true if you ever host a house party while your parents are on vacation).  Michelle taught me how to stand up to my friends or bigger kids when they are totally acting like fools.  I am forever grateful that she gave me the confidence to believe in myself and to teach me the difference between right and wrong.


What are some Michelle-isms that you still live by?


12 thoughts on “Life Coach: Michelle Tanner

  1. hahaha, I love “don’t settle for second best.” But that poor dog! :O! I would’ve at least hugged him, but only because I often find I like the company of animals more so than some humans. >_> I love the life lessons you gleaned from her, hahaha. :] Do you think I’d still be able to appreciate what was going on in Fuller House if I’ve never watched Full House?

    1. There’s definitely lots of nostalgia and throwbacks. They reference the majority as “remember that time” kind of stuff. But total appreciation? Not sure… lol 😉 it’s only 13 episodes may be worth a try!

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