I Wear Earbuds To Avoid You

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It seems as if half of my day at work is consumed with avoiding people.  I just want to be able to go from Point A to Point B and not have to stop for meaningless chit chat.  We are all plagued with the empty “Hi! How are you?” when we pass someone we know at the office.  The brief conversations are almost rhetorical.  No one ever answers honestly and no one cares if you are in a bad mood or if something is wrong.  All people want to see is a smile and hear that you are doing well.  “Actually, bitch, I am glad you asked.  You won’t believe what happened…so-and-so died… so-and-so dumped me… I’ve gained weight… I hate my job… ”  And the list could go on and on, right?  As you start to tell them the truth (whatever it may be in your situation) you can see the fear in their eyes and tell they are sorry they asked.  I honestly don’t care enough to even ask these questions; I am either in your life and we communicate outside of work and I know or I follow you in some form of social media so I know.  If you do not fall into one of those buckets, enough with the chit chat.  It’s just wasted time, breath, and energy on hollow conversation.  Who cares?

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I help us ALL out by walking around with my earbuds.

But just because my earbuds are in that does not mean I am listening to anything.  I could be faking it just to avoid having to talk to you (and that is the case a lot of the time).  I have even been known to fake swipe my screen just so I can look down and not have to look at you.  Eye contact is a death sentence when you are on the go.  I may have met you once.  Last year.  And now you wanna stop in the food court and smile and hug and ask me how I am?  For what?  MOVE ALONG. BYE.

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Furthermore, it chaps my ass when people stand up at their cubes and start calling my name out when they see I have earbuds in.  Even if I hear them, I typically pretend I don’t.  It’s rude.  You see I am either on a call or listening to something while trying to do *my* job.  Send me an  email or an IM.  Walk over to my desk.  Do something OTHER than just stand, glare, sulk, and beg for my attention from yards away at another cubicle.  I can’t count how many times I have casually removed my earbuds, looked around and said, “Is someone calling for me? … Oh!  I am so sorry, I had my earbuds in, I thought you saw.  I wasn’t simply ignoring you.”  Keyword: simply.  Because once I do know they are calling me, I am ignoring them because they are ignoring my desire for privacy.

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And please do not try and have a conversation with me.  If I have to remove my earbuds more than three times in a 5 minute window because you keep talking to me, then please find someone else to bore.  I am working.  I am in my own zone.  I have things to do that do not include talking to you about your lunch, what you watched on TV last night, or how bad your commute was this morning.  Leave me be.  Each time I have to remove my earbuds to listen to you I know my facial expression and body language are telling you to back off or that I am totally not interested.  My mission at work: get my shit done so I can feel accomplished when I go home.  You talking to me incessantly impedes my ability to complete my job.  TOODLES.

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And it’s not like I always have earbuds on when I am at my desk working.  Some tasks are better executed with less interruptions from the lemmings and so that is when I try to block out my surroundings.  I almost *always* wear my earbuds when I am going: to the bathroom, the the food court, to get a coffee, for a brief walk for exercise, to another work location, etc.  I am great at time management when it comes to work.  I plan to leave my desk at a certain time and don’t factor in talking to random people.  I don’t come to work for you.  I come to work for me and that paycheck.  TTFN. Buh-bye. See ya later.

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38 thoughts on “I Wear Earbuds To Avoid You

  1. This is me and knitting needles whilst on public transportation. NOOOOO one tries to bother/hit on me, and it’s great! (My personal theory is that [a] I’m knitting, and [b] they could be formidable weapons.)

    Yay for Pusheen, and double hooray for avoiding unnecessary conversations! Earbuds are so useful when you don’t want to have to interact with society! ❤

    • Oh, Farrah! I can totally see you knitting over there – so precious lol. Making some Hogwarts house-themed scarves, eh??? #PraysForRavenclawScarf

      • Hahaha, unfortunately, I only know how to do the middle part (aka no idea how to start and finish them :[[[ ). If I ever find out, you’ll be getting one! 😀

  2. Haha, this doesn’t happen to me at work because I can’t wear earbuds while working, but it does happen to me everywhere else. What really annoys me is that people see that I have earbuds and insist on bothering me anyways. This especially goes for the grandma at my gym when I have my music blaring at about the 35 minute mark of my run on the treadmill when I’m sweating like a horse and trying to hit a PR and she wants to tell me to move my light jacket off the floor that is near no one. Now that I move my jacket out her sight she insists on stopping me to tell me good job.

    • All because of a harmless jacket. NICE! LOL – surprised you didn’t go to some kickboxing or wallball in a neighboring room to relieve some of that new anger hehe

  3. Saves all the nonsensical talk and unwanted disturbances at my work place. Even my manager thinks am working and doesnt come and dump all the shit he was about to say.

    • Thanks for seeing the silly humor in it all 🙂 Side note: Pocahontas is the best at this because her facial expression is always so stoic.

  4. Haha I do this all the time and most of the time I walk past the person pretending I can’t see them because I don’t want to engage. What part of headphones do people not understand lol!

    • Maybe we should walk around with a sheet over our bodies and pretend to be a ghost or something… then people would probably just be too shocked at what they see and just stare at us… yea?? lol

  5. Interesting and if not scary side of you revealed here. I’m lucky I now work in an office with only a few people. When I did work in an open plan office my area was like a library, no one spoke ever and I always felt I had to whisper to people.

  6. hahahah SO TRUE! I put my earbuds in on the train every night and sure enough someone still tries to strike up a conversation.

    • Glad I could make you laugh some! Must be total love for your furbaby to put on earphones instead of putting him/her in another room ❤

  7. I hate it when someone keeps poking into life to have gossips .Also the weirdos who shout from far yard and hug and kiss and screamm my name ..I dont even have those idiots contact numbers and still act like we know each other very well.. Ear buds are useful 😉
    Mini

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