Attack of the Jellyfish

I would like, if I may, to take you on a strange journey.  The year: 1996.  I was only 10 years old and I was summering with my family at our old beach house.  That was the summer the United States hosted the Olympics in Atlanta, Georgia.  It was also the last summer I would allow myself to go deep enough in the ocean to where I could no longer touch the ocean floor.  My philosophy: if I can’t see my feet, I am in too deep.

It was a typical day at the beach.  My mom and dad were reading.  I was building a sand castle.  And my brother was listening to his Walkman.  We were each allowed to bring a friend with us to the beach.  My friend was helping me build the sandcastle and my brother’s friend was also zombied out listening to music (the things cool middle schoolers did, yo know).  It finally got so hot that my parents wanted to get in the water to cool off, which meant I could go further out to sea than I could if I went in by myself.  I was scared of octopuses, sharks, and Predator (um, it is totally a rational fear for a 10-year-old.  He can be INVISIBLE in the water- HELLO!?)

We swim out to the sand bar and then a little beyond.  It has to be somewhat shallow because my mom is digging for sand dollars with her toes, but it was still too deep for me to touch the bottom.  I just hung on like I was in a Baby Bjorn.  My brother and his friend swam a little further so I decided I could put my fears aside and do the same.  Little did I know it would be the biggest mistake of my life…

Not moments later I was swimming between and around my family and friends, but not drifting to far out of their reach (you know, in case I got eaten).  I started to feel this weird tingle on my toes, feet, and legs.  You know when you wrapped string around your fingers as a child and watched your fingertips get red and tingly?  That is what it felt like.  “I must be swimming through some seaweed…?”  I did not let it phase me.  Until I started feeling it on my stomach, chest, and neck.  AN OCTOPUS?!  I’d only ever seen one in The Goonies…

Screaming and flailing, you would think I was being murdered at sea.  Something was happening and it was not a seaweed folly.  My mom takes me by the arm and she makes a face; she knows what is happening to me.  I can tell because of how quickly she is trying to get me back to shore.  And when my body begins to ascend out of the water, I can hear my mom and dad gasping and almost screaming as my body is literally covered in…. JELLYFISH.  They are all over my body.  Now how the hell did I swim through a school of jellyfish and no one else was touched?  Just my luck… time for me to change my morning cereal…

The combination of the sand and jellyfish stung and burned to no end.  My mom began removing the jellyfish from me but some were harder to dislodge than others.  After they were all gone, my body was covered in red bumps, scrapes, and lesions.  And all I could hear was the argument between my brother and dad because my brother wanted to pee on me.  Apparently he saw on the Discovery Channel that you are supposed to pee on jellyfish stings.  Yea, bro.  I am sure you are truly looking out for the well-being of your younger, non-annoying brother.  And that’s the only reason you want to pee on me… RUDE.

Thankfully I was not peed on.  I was taken to the lifeguard tower and they drenched me in vinegar.  I was rushed to the ER, but by this point my eyes had swollen shut and my lips looked like Bubba Gump.  My body was itching beyond belief as I was breaking out into hives.  I found out the hard way just how allergic to jellyfish I was.  And I would spend the rest of the week and vacation in a bathtub full of baking soda.  It was like my own heaven of itching and relaxing…

Do you have any fears of the ocean?  Anything bad ever happen to you while swimming?